Uncertainty and Serenity

I’ve been challenged with three major ideas lately: serenity, love, and gratitude.

Over the next several days, I’m going to share some thoughts on these three areas of my stumbling walk, and I hope to hear back from others about your own experiences with these areas and what God is teaching you.

I attend a Celebrate Recovery program three days a week in my town. This program is a Christ-centered recovery program that follows a modified 12-steps and includes 8 principles that are worked alongside other believers who are in need of recovery. I like to call it a slow-learner’s guide to sanctification.

In this program, we spend a great deal of time talking about Serenity. The peace that comes from surrendering fully to Christ. The question was posed by one of our dear ministry leaders last week: when you ask for serenity, what are you asking for?

And that question hit me right in the chest. What am I asking for? What is it I want from God when I ask for serenity? It is NOT usually acceptance, courage, or wisdom. No, it’s usually, “MAKE THIS STOP…SOLVE THIS PROBLEM INSTANTLY THANKS!”

And I realized when I evaluated myself that I do that in so many ways with God. I want so much what I want, and I give little thought or energy to what God wants from and for me. Last night, at a ladies’ meeting at church, someone said, “God made you to use your gifts.” Something I read before falling asleep last night said, “God knit you together, with certain gifts, don’t you think when you are searching for your purpose that might be it? To use those gifts.”

The lightning fell…the voice resounded. God made me. These gifts that I have are made by Him. Why in the world would He NOT want me to use them? WHAT?!? Have I been so blind this whole time? Have I been so full of unbelief?

Yes…yes I have. And I’m done with that. I’m done denying the realities of what God has given to me.

So, as I type this, I’m fully embracing the reality that I’m going to be inviting quite a few new people to this blog today. Which is terrifying for me. Because I’m not really very good at inviting people into my space in this way. Which would probably surprise some of my recovery people. But, truthfully, I’m not. Putting myself out there as a writer and beyond that as wanting readers is not easy for me to do.

But, I’m tired of running from the reality that I believe it is something God wants me to do.

If you came here today just to read this post, thanks! Feel free to peruse the other posts I’ve made and leave your comments or thoughts!

With serenity,



4 thoughts on “Uncertainty and Serenity

  1. I love that you are stepping out in this. I walked through a very tough season last year and found myself in a pit of defeat. When I say a pit I mean I saw no way out. Thank God I made it out through repentance. Since then I have been impressed to share it publicly. It is so uncomfortable yet so freeing. This past wknd I shared at a women’s conference and so many women came and said that they too were struggeling. I surrender all shame and all of my insecurities to help others walk freely in Christ. It is worth it! Praying this touches others! You write beautifuly!!


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