I love the calm. While I can thrive in the midst of crazy, I thirst for calm.
I don’t have much calm in my life these days. With an 18 month old and a 7 month old (math required, yours). I don’t have a lot of opportunity to decompress. Being needed so much by my husband and kids and ministry and church.
Yet, I often feel calm even when it seems as if I should be pulling my hair out. I slip into that easy weight of trust and believing that that God is God and I am not.
When I’m waiting on Him, He gives me these moments. Especially in those seconds and minutes that begin to stretch into forever. On the heels of that chaos free-fall.
He’s done it before. Many times.
Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”
Matthew 8:23-27 (NIV; emphasis mine)
My favorite part of that verse: the storm came and then the calm. And when the calm came…it was complete. Total. No ripple.No wave. No disturbance. Just calm.
The disciples were plugging along…enjoying the moment…when the storm came upon them. And they did not want to wait. They called out and woke up the Lord. In their panicked desperation, they yelled for Him to get up. They looked at the chaos instead of trusting in the coming calm. They didn’t wait.
And the disciples instantly forgot the strength of the storm and their fear of it and instead their awe tuned into the right source: Jesus.
When I tune it to the right source, the calm that is mine by gift, and let the storm be just what it is, a storm, then I can be in awe of Jesus. I worship the Creator instead of created.