Restoration

It is a new year, and I’m glad for it.

The sensation of a fresh start, of new hope, of growth.

For me, it’s an expanding realization of just how much God wants to restore in me.

I spent a solid five years of college trying to bury high school. Then I spent a good two years of being an “adult” trying to bury college. And somehow through that, I came out with bitterness and ugliness and sometimes hatred locked into places that sweetness, preciousness, and fun used to be. I threw the good out with the bad.

It has taken me 2 1/2 years to see this truth. To finally open my eyes and see what all I gave away when I let the darkness take hold. When I started isolating myself into that room and hiding behind a computer and slowly pushing away everyone who might try to stop me. Who might have tried to hold on.

God sent me a few lights in that darkness. To encourage me to hope. To urge me to turn back.

And I’m grateful for those lights. They were faithful to God and in turn, they were part of my restoration. I pray that God would reward them RICHLY both here and in eternity for staying their course even when I seemed like a lost cause.

I’m not a lost cause. I never was, at least not to Jesus.

This year has dawned with that hope in my heart. The hope of further restoration. Of God taking me and shaping this old girl into a new woman.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. (‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭22-24‬ NIV)”

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